美丽与哀愁——流亡青年看靖西
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">几个月了</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">不敢再轻易拿起笔，害怕自己再肆无忌惮的写下去，害怕自己还和以往一样轻率地言语还认为很潇洒，害怕自己过于滚烫和满溢地情感，烫坏了别人的和自己的灵魂。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">僚人的知识分子，不管情不情愿</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">无疑，深受汉文化地影响。他们写作的笔法，和所有汉族知识化分子地笔法一样，或隐忍克制，或洋洋洒洒下笔千言……在我前边的兄长姊姊们，写过优秀的文章已经数不胜数，鉴于自己稚嫩的文笔却狂野的灵魂，也觉得中文作家们已经把半仙笔法发挥到了极致而无法超越</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">（</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">如余秋雨、安妮宝贝、郭敬明等）</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">，本已决定不再写东西了。可是用英文写自己没有实力</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">而年岁不大也不喜欢压抑自己</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">管不了那么多</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">写吧</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">春节见到兄长们的时候，虽然我的哥哥们在我面前还是快乐得潇洒肆意，如所有天马行空的才子</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">个个狂傲不羁</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">但是我已经深深的感觉到他们的无奈和艰辛。僚人的思想，僚人的文化，已被侵蚀太多，已被毒害太深，要想重建一个健康而富有生命力的文化，谈何容易。而在书写我的故乡靖西时，在考虑我该运用怎样的笔法时，我时常陷入困惑。半仙笔法吗</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">说明文</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">记叙文</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">因为我不能一味浪漫</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">也不能一味现实批判</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">如何避免同部落的人觉得我嫌弃家乡</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">如何在汹涌的热爱中理性的表达</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">如何找到一个平衡的支点</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这实在是一个很烦人的问题。</span><font face="Calibri"><br/> </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">出身于一个没有文化的地方，这是不是我和我的先辈们的一个悲哀呢。然而我并不觉得这有多大的悲哀，即使出身于此地的知识分子在返回故乡时已经感到疏离与隔阂，他们，我指在靖西数千年的历史中成长于此的孩子们，应当有过想把先进文化引进到这个边城的想法。或者，在考虑到这个地方处于中华文明边缘而无论如何拼命发展都无法达到中原文明水准的情况下，生于斯长于斯的而又不得不做姿态努力融进中原文明的先辈们，他们是否想过要重建自己的文化。优秀的文化才能培养优秀的人才，没有文化的地方永远都无法有自己的灵魂，当人们失去灵魂的时候，那岂不是和傀儡已经差不多了嘛。而我们又怎能奢望靖西在没有自己灵魂的情况下，在茫茫城市丛林中被人家一眼认出一见钟情呢？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">漫步在靖西中学的校园，随处可见灯箱中装贴的很精致的发迹于靖西中学的名人的传记，有语言学家的，有造导弹飞机的，有流体物理学家，有画家的也有远渡欧洲的，可是，面对他们的传记，除了感慨“他们钱真多”和“他们真的很聪明</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">”，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我再也感觉不到别的什么荣耀。我不知道他们制造的导弹，他们做的铁路，他们画的图像，他们妙笔生花博得众人喝彩名家赞赏的文章，他们今日在人前无限的风光，与靖西还有多大的关系？他们的种种事迹和种种心事，是否还有这个美丽的边城留下的印记呢？大年初八当我和土人香草走在靖西中学校园看见这些被靖中引以为荣的先辈的传记的时候，我毫不犹豫的说：他们加起来，都不及红棉树和僚僚无己</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">（</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">对于靖西来说）</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">。我一直在寻找这个地方故去的知识分子他们有否遗留可供参阅的关于靖西的文章，可是，几年了，我没有见到几篇。在世的知识分子倒是写有一些的。比如郑贻青写的对土俗字的研究。我斗胆想问，靖西出过那么多才子，他们的一生都在忙什么呢？仿佛我是在责骂精英先辈们不爱靖西，责怪他们没有为靖西的文化发展做事情。是的，我的确是有这个意思。不要问我为什么这样苛求精英先辈们，我一直觉得，知识分子，只要是知识分子，就应当有胸怀天下的情怀，应当有反哺报恩的情思。不然，寒窗十载，只是学会如何谋私利和苟且偷生，这难道不是一个堕落的生命吗？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">如果知识分子都这么堕落，这个地方想形成一种英才辈出的传统，想如犹太人一般称雄四海，如温州人商贾遍地，恐怕也真的是难于上青天了。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">传统是一把很锋利的刀刃，可以保卫自己身体和灵魂，保卫自己的家园</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">.</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">当然这是对于越南人来说的。去年冬天遇见哥哥时，他告诉我：越南的历史其实就是抗拒汉庭的历史。越南发展到今天也并不是什么“东亚四小龙”，</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">然而即使受困于地狭民广，受困于高端人才的稀缺，这个国家的平均水准，仍然高于广西。我在河内和海防留学的朋友们，他们告诉我越南是国穷民富，中国是国富民穷。而广西，不知道经过几代人的努力，能否重拾军阀混战时桂系的威风？能否在全国利益的博弈迷局中占得上风？说来说去，似乎我真的很推崇越南人，我自己觉得没有到达崇拜的地步，我只能说：他们的知识分子真的骨头很硬。即使他们是僚人的天敌，我也不得钦佩他们敢于与汉庭抗衡的勇气和韧性。这倒不是怀恨知识分子先辈们遗忘故乡，也不是煽动接受汉文化教育的知识分子从此脑袋上要长反骨，这个地方如果能够荡尽尘埃摆脱痼疾，重塑自己的灵魂，我说的是健康外向进攻的灵魂，而不是自欺欺人谄媚懦弱的灵魂，那么已经是几代知识分子的最大的欣慰了。从一个边境到另外一个边境，从靖西到大连，从西南到东北，从温暖妖娆的小城到达寒冷彻骨的海滨城市，我自己现在已经不像以前那样对中原文明唯唯诺诺，唯恐自己出身无名而不敢言语了。中原文明是值得尊敬的但不应当畏惧，他们产生过司马迁鲁迅这样犀利睿智的大知识分子，也培养了和珅和汪精卫的这样深得儒家虚伪文化精髓的盈利者，故乡的文化建设者们，如果你们现在已经认定靖西是一张干净的没有文化的白纸，那么我们应该吸收中原文化的哪部份？日本文化的哪部份？犹太文化的哪部份？是的，那些东西都不是我们的，我们不得不低下头学习，但如果我们做一个最好的学生有什么不可以呢？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我最担心的是不经思考的接收外边的东西，总以为外面的、海边的、中原的、北京的就是好的东西，总以为上天把荣耀都给了外面的世界，总以为我们是小地方就可以活在别人虚假毫无实质的荣耀里，到最后我们会可悲的发现我们处于文明的边缘</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">——</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">交趾文明的边缘，中原文化的边缘，西方文明的边缘，因为他们给我们要，不假思索毫不犹豫，比如酒精文化、吸毒文化、一夜情文化、婚外恋文化、非主流文化……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">好好坏坏我们照单全收。因为没有自己的灵魂，于是无论如何发展，我们始终处于边缘；因为不加分辨，我们始终是他们的影子。为什么我们不可以重建一个文化，而我们是僚人文化的中心呢？为什么不可以？为什么我们不敢去想？过于敬畏过于自卑是吗？因为我们地处边疆受困于群山环绕是吗？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">当我为别的孩子不像我一样如此热爱靖西而心怀不满时，我也注意到了一个现象：世界上一些很优秀的个人仿佛总是诞生于很破败很落后的地方，而似乎他们的母国越落后，他们就更加热爱那个地方更加不离不弃。如昂山素季之于缅甸，帕慕克之于土耳其，博尔赫斯之于阿根廷，</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">穆罕默德.</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">尤努斯</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">之于孟加拉国……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">是不是他们的故土越偏僻贫穷</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">那些知识分子就更感觉他们的故土需要他们的奉献，而自己也越像依恋母亲一样在精神上始终对故乡恋恋不舍，也越来越依附于故土，越来越靠对故土的思念才能活下去呢？刚从蒙特克莱尔大学回来的高中同学伊莎告诉我</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">在美国做交换生时</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">她也遇见那些来自海地斯里兰卡和马来西亚的同学</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">尽管来自很弱小很“微不足道”的国家</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">可是对国家尊严的捍卫的决心</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">却是超过中国的学生的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">而他们在各个方面的才华</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">也让美国本土和来自西欧国家的同学们相形失色</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">也许这只是一个奇怪的悖论</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">不管他们的故土有多现代化了</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我相信永远有一批知识分子他们在忧心忡忡</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">因为知识分子的理想永远与懒惰的现实永远存在着距离（</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">在这里</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">要为自己辩驳一下</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我并非认为自己很优秀才描述这个现象</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这只是缘于我对心理学的喜好而作的观察</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">）。</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">然而靖西的现状的确让我忧心忡忡</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">：</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">泛滥的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">K</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">粉冰毒</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">夜晚随时发生的街头火并</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">疏忽大意的卫生防疫工作</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">越来越势利的老师和越来越腐化的教育</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">浮躁冷漠的人心……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">瑞辣曾经告诉我在靖西他没有主场的感觉</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">那么</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">究竟靖西是谁的主场</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">黑帮老大的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">穷苦人们的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">唯利是图草菅人命的外地老板</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">来到靖西寻求东方少数民族风情的西方人的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">还是一届又一届不为人民谋福利的流官们？……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我知道这也不是我的主场</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我在这里也没有安全的感觉</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">不知道这样的感觉是不是因为我处于贫民区的家庭给的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">还是整个拥挤贫穷的边疆地区给我的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">可是</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">这里毕竟是生我养我的故乡</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">即便是流亡在外</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">在梦里我也能闻到它的气息</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">能感觉得到它每一次受伤害的隐秘的战栗……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">正如奥尔罕帕慕克所说的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">：</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">它的命运就是我的命运</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我依附于这座城市</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">只因它造就了今天的我</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">当我面对北方的同学</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">西方的游客</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我是多么滔滔不绝于靖西的美丽</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">：</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">少数民族风情</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">地处边境</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">好客的僚人</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">旖旎的风光……</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">可是</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">作为医学生</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我回头仔细看看</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我看见了很多汨汨流脓的掩盖着的伤口</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">为什么我们不能去医治自己呢</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">为什么我们要放任病毒吞噬这个城市的灵魂</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">没有人回答我</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">可我知道有很多很多与我一样的人在强装的笑容后彻夜不眠</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">眼眶深深的陷进去</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">深深地为自己和这个小城的命运感到失落</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">当每次放假回家</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">当每个夜晚我孤独的行走于越来越陌生的大街</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我都能感觉到它的躁动</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">感觉到它不再是我说熟悉的地方了</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">无言的人们</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我说的不对吗</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">靖西的孩子们</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">为什么你们或躲在南宁</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">或越过红河跑到河内</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">或躲在外地</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">为什么你们昼伏夜出</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">为什么你们茶饭不思</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">难道不是因为和我一样的忧愁</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">一样的热爱吗</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">？</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 15.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 1.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">在接下来的岁月里</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">也许我将和你们一样行色匆匆</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">一言不发</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">因为作为医生</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">需要的是冷酷精确</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">并不需要太多的感情</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">情感冲昏头脑</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我就不能再理智了</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">。</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">希望我能尽早谋生</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Calibri">，</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">尽早回到群山环绕阴雨绵绵的靖西城。<hr/></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 26.25pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.5;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></p><p align="center"><strong><font color="#666666" size="4">越色僚人 编辑 标点符号 2008-03-15 21:07</font></strong></p> <p>楼主写得非常深刻，能感觉到你的赤诚之心，日夜为故乡而忧心如焚。</p><p>楼主所说的靖西小城的命运，其实也是整个中国的命运。汉文化在西方文化冲击下，也已经迷失了自我，也有很多人为此“彻夜不眠，眼眶深深的陷进去”，有些人办起了私塾，有些人呼吁弘扬汉服……净空法师则搞了个汤池小镇……</p><p>而在我们壮族地区，也同样有一些学者，知识分子，普通民众，在为壮族文化的传承、为家乡默默地努力，无论我们的努力将会有怎样的结果，我们也可以希腊神话中的西西甫斯为榜样，每天努力把自己该推的那块石头推上山去，而无须去考虑明天这块石头是否还滚下来。<br/></p> 靖西古城早已仙逝,现在的靖西城已被"红水河"替换了龙潭河,我们的校歌:"...龙潭流水千里长,文化普及重任落在我肩上.....一心一德,努力修业做国家栋梁...."今天有谁记得? ! 今天的靖西有那个有小布点的蒙幺爸的气概呢?我敢说没有!没有!!!如果有就不会有红水河了.以子孙后代的利益民族的利益生态环境为代价换取蝇头小利,给外来大虫发财,值吗? 蒙幺爸何人?看央视1台20点钟电视就懂了. <p>莫忧愁，</p><p>浪大也有人行舟,</p><p>手拿竹竿稳稳坐，</p><p>那怕激浪打船头。</p> 标点符号不规范，要扣分的 <p>教育确实是个问题，家庭教育也尤其重要，很多家庭为了自己的小孩将来有好的工作，千方百计活动各方面的关系，就想让自己的小孩能够出去外面的大世界大展宏图，结果变成家乡的知识分子都在外效力，建设自己家乡的却是外籍人员，出力的人不多谋利却很多人，导致我们最根本的文化变质，让自己的人觉得自己的家乡很贫穷，很落后，没有文化，没有人愿意回来建设自己的家乡。其实我们本身有文化的人并不少，可以说有才华的人在外地都很出色呢，但又有谁能够舍名舍利真真正正的回到家乡出一份力呢？？</p> <p><font size="5"><strong>走出去，拥抱更多朋友，拥抱更多的未来，你会融入更广阔的世界，给家乡和族人更多希望和未来,爱靖西，爱广西，爱中国本来就不矛盾。</strong></font></p><p><font size="5"><strong>象水手一样，爬上韦杆，你会看得更远</strong>。</font></p>[此贴子已经被作者于2009-3-16 20:27:15编辑过] <p><font size="5">爱孩子之所爱，恨孩子之所恨！</font></p><p><font size="5">每个不同的社会阶层中的人，都会有他们自己的生存方式，做什么选择也是他们的权利哦！</font></p><p><font size="5">知道你是一个有理想和血性的年轻人，所以不管这个社会、这个现实世界怎么样，保持自己的理想和血性好好的生活和学习吧！</font></p><p><font size="5">很理解你现在的感受和现状，但每一个社会问题不是一天两天，通过一两个人就能够解决掉的，因为解决我们民族的问题不仅仅缺乏参与者，更缺乏真正的关注者，所以你已经比别人先行一步了！</font></p><p><font size="5">想写什么就写吧，想说什么就说吧，不仅仅是写靖西，也可以写广西，只是不要因为爱恨而令自己消沉就好！</font></p> <p>楼主怎么成“流亡青年”了？从西南流亡到东北？</p><p>流：四处游走。亡：消失。</p><p>流亡：因灾害或政治原因而被迫离开家乡或祖国。</p><p>楼主想说的是“流浪”吧？</p>